Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
