He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
