He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
