you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
