I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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