You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
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