Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
