He asked to "fluff my boner.."
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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