The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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