Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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