The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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