you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
