I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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