And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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