seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I touched a dick in church today
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
