if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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