Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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