everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
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