Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You took a bar mat shot.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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