i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
