Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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