please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
