I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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