the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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