Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Randomize
