party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
he shaved USA in his pubs
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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