i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
