Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
