"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize