I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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