i barfeds in our rink
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
