Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
