It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
