I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
