You just made me feel so damn special
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
