You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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