It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
