my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
