Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
please come you make the beer taste better
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
