Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
