return my video game
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
