I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
