So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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