there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
