Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
