I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
