well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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