dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
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