YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
