It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
