Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
this will be a night to untag.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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