I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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