Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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