What did we do last night that was yellow?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
