Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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