Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize