we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
