dude i'm inner monologue high
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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