Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
