Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
