Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
