i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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